The Stories of Mrs. Wagner!

[Angelus]

The Stories of Mrs. Wagner!

Okay, for all of you who do not go to Kingsway or if you are from Logan and have not had the pleasure of having Mrs. Wagner for Algebra1, this is a compiled list of all of the stories that she told out Algebra class. We told stories for countless hours in her class and her class was one of the greatest memories of middle school.

I am asking that, for all of you that have had her, that you could post your favorite story that she told your class. Give it a little title if she did not give it one herself.

[Angelus]

Do Not Make the Wagners Pray for You!

This one is one the best!

Mrs. Wagner and her husband originally lived in a trailer park in their younger years. Now this was not a typical trailer park, this one was nice. Many of the “trailers” were two stories high. The Wagners really enjoyed this place, except for their neighbors across the street. Mrs. Wagner described this family as being “white trash.”
This family had a father who was an army veteran and who had no legs. His significant other was a woman much younger. She had about a sixth grade education and was not the brightest person in the world. These two were not married though. The father also had two sons. They were both chain smokers. They dropped out of highschool and just hung out around the house all day. The whole family lived off of the man’s social security and disability checks.

Here comes the good part…

Every night the father enjoyed listening to oldy music, but not in their house, but in his 60’s van. Because he had no legs, when he was done listening to his music, he needed to call his lovely wife. Guess how he called her? He called using the horn of the car. Now remember, this was at around one o’clock in the morning. The horn of the can was not a normal horn though, but rather an old-style horn. It was like “ah-ooooo-gah” The wide would then come and carry the man into the house.
The Wagners soon became very annoyed with this and they decided that what the family truly needed was maybe a prayer. Mrs. Wagner and her husband decided t go to church and pray for their family. They prayed that this family could fix the holes in their lives to become better people.

What happened was this…

The father ends of having a heart attack and dying. The wife left because she now had no money and the children disappeared.


The moral of this story is that…never annoy the Wagners because they might want to pray for you…and that is never a good thing.

[L.A.C.R.I.M.O.S.A]

Ohmahfungunz! xDDD Yea....She called that the "Trailer Park Story". That was such an awesome story....But I have a good one, too.


Mrs. Wagner and her friend were traveling to Italy for a vacation and decided to stay with her friend's uncle who spoke the Italian language fluently and knew his way around.

That night, they decided to go eat out at a restaurant, and, of course, they had the uncle come along to do any translating for them. When they sat down and looked at the menu, they had NO clue what they were reading, as it was all in Italian, so they had the uncle choose something for them.

A few minutes later, the food arrived, and they ate it. Mrs. Wagner said it was really good, and she enjoyed it. She said it was so good, in fact, that she might even want to order it again sometime, so she asked her friend to ask her uncle what the name of the dish was. She asked him, and he blurted something out in Italian. They asked what it was, and the answer they got did not please them at all.................

The dish they were eating was the male genitalia of either a horse or donkey. xDDD

[baha]

lol i remember that one... ummm I've got two:

Young little Mrs. Wagner was doing a Health project with some of her friends, about sex ed. And lucky her- she got to dress up as a Condom! They nicknamed her Captain Condom. XDD

Second...
Her daughter Sharon and her were watching some movie, and she wanted to know who was the voice actor for one of the major characters, and Mrs. Wagner told her his name. A couple movies later, the girl pointed out a very very minor character and said, "That's the same voice actor!!" And Mrs. Wagner was skeptical, so she looked it up on the computer and she saw it was true. Her daughter's a genious. lol.

I remember another one about Sharon kissing some boy lol. That one was funneh.

[Angelus]

Lol...Vamps, your story is great. That friend of her's was Miss. Cornwall, the Italian teacher in the middle school. She was so fun! We had parties for like the last two weeks of school. She was fired because her certification was no cleared in the US. She was certified to teach Italian in Italy, so it was not accepted here.

[L.A.C.R.I.M.O.S.A]

xDDDD So THAT is the Captain Condom story. xDDD I feel so bad for her. lol

Really, Angelus? I didn't know. O.o lol How odd.

[Angelus]

I have another one. This was an event that happened in class to her daughter and it kinda sucks. It was bring your daughter to work day, so Mrs. Wagner brought her genious daughter Sharon to class.

Sharon was coloring peacefully on her mother's desk. Then all the kids came around and were trying to play with her. Meghan Pinto then picked up her and then accidentally dropped Sharon right onto the desk on her chin.

Sharon then got really mad and didn't want to play around with out class.

[L.A.C.R.I.M.O.S.A]

I wouldn't blame 'er! >=O Jeez that was a dumb move....*mutters* Poor Sharon. O.o

Mrs. Wagner once asked her daughter to recite the Pythagorean theorem, and she said it like it was the alphabet. O___o We we're all like, "O_________________O........Dot dot dot......"

[Ladd Russo of the Russo Family]

Mrs. Wagner's Health Education

This is a really short story, but when Mrs. Wagner was young she always had to sit in the back of the bus for lack of better seating. Unfortunately that was also where all the senior boys were. One day the senior boys decided to moon the buses behind them, pulled down their pants and tight wighties, and did so against the back window. The buses behind them might have seen the full moon, but poor Young Wagner saw the 'sun'. XD

[L.A.C.R.I.M.O.S.A]

*falls off chair laughing* xDDDD Omg....Poor Mrs. Wagner! lmao

[Arual]

So you think thats what the song " I saw the sun" meant? XDDDDD

[Angelus]

Very....very funny. I feel sorry fo her though. Everytime she hears that song she will have to think back to that somewhat disturbing moment.

[L.A.C.R.I.M.O.S.A]

Here comes the sun, doo'in doo doo!!!!! ^.^

[baha]

LMAO!!! I remember that story. She described it as her first experience sexually, or something weird like that.