Orton Sunflame

[trevor]

Name- Orton Sunflame
Age- 24
Date of Birth- July 28th
Homelands- The Angel community of Skypeak, on the remote Beryl Mountain, home to particularly lush natural life due to Skypeak.
Race- Angel
Class- Warrior
Final- Holy Fury
Holy Fury
Whatever weapon the user is wielding turns to pure light, with the ability to smash through shields, and a particular bonus against races with a weakness against holy magic. Works better with a sword.

----------------------------


{Weapon information}
The Blade of the Serpent
A sword with a double-edged blade that curves like a serpent multiple times, has an eagle carved into the hilt..
Has a permanent-sharpness enchantment, and a light enchantment, making it glow in dark places.

{Armour Information}
Suit of the Elders
A suit of armor with a breastplate, a back, a helmet, and greaves, all with fancy designs. The breastplate is contoured to his muscular frame and gives him an imposing look.
Has a strength enchantment, increasing his strength, and an enchantment that focuses the powers of the light around him, defending him against darkness.

{Accessory Information}
Beryl Ring
A silver ring with one Beryl Jewel on it taken from the mountain he lived on.
Can crystallize objects into various jewels depending on both the user's magical ability and the target's magical ability. So, a pencil, for instance, would be whooped, but a dark mage would not.

{Physical Description}
Tall and imposing, at 6'3'', with heavily muscled physique from lots of training in the ways of the blade. Multiple scars on his arms, belly, and chest from his search in the cramped Beryl caverns on his mountain. Thick, golden hair that goes down his back, and blew eyes with a ring of gold just before the pupil.

{Background}
Originating on the isolated Angel community of Skypeak, Orton was trained early to be a Paladin, but came to TMA to continue after the Angels teaching him couldn't finish. Skypeak was on the tall and lush Beryl mountain, home to an extensive network of Beryl Jewel caverns, many of which are small and cramped.

At an early age, he was taught how to wield a blade. He became proficient and even fought off some wild bears that attempted to ransack the village for an unknown reason. (Though it is suspected that dark magic was involved) At age 12, was told to search the Beryl Caverns for one with innate magical abilities, resulting in multiple scars from the cramped space, which, true to its nature, was filled with pointy beryl jewels.

At age 20, was awarded with his blade and his armor for his long service to Skypeak and to the light.

[±Witchcraft±]

First thing I saw is I think a misunderstanding. You can be a warrior or a samurai alone if you wish. That way you get more of the bonuses from that class. If you are split each is a lot weaker and is more confusing. It is up to you though if you wish to keep your class that way. And interesting final, good idea to work with your angelic background.

The weapons sound good but I want you to remember, warriors and/or samurai cannot use any magic. So the ring would only help his final. I will allow the final since I am guessing it is his angelic background that does the transformation.

Your physical description leaves much to be desired, you could have put much more in there but you did put the bare minimum. Same with the history, though one thing is bugging me. The whole class thing. You have warrior/samurai up there and I don’t know if you were confused with the way the class file was written, meant it that way, or want to be a paladin. If you tell me your idea of a paladin is it likely that I will approve it and let you have it.

Still, decent bio. 7/10

You may either change things first with the whole class issue or move on to the Ghost Shipyards.

[trevor]

To be quite honest, I think that the class system needs a bunch of work, as it said that I needed level 30 warrior to be a paladin, etc. etc., then you say this and it's conflicting info. I request that you get the class system straight, as at the moment it could confuse an Asgard (</Obscure Stargate Reference>)

Also, further more, unlike some people, my character is relatively (for his race) normal, and hasn't had a very traumatic history. I'm sorry if you enjoy the various cliched histories of outcasts and such, but I honestly think some normality would be a bit more unique.

To answer the paladin thing, though; Yes, my Character is supposed to be a paladin. Paladins are (usually) Holy warriors, fighting for their god, most often a god of light, e.g. in Warcraft and those other generic RPGs. My idea of a Paladin is that, but with the ability to use "good" magic. Basically the same as yours. What threw my off, is the ridiculous "must be a level 30 warrior" thing reminiscent of Adventure Quest.

If you want an essay for my history and physical description, so I can really DESCRIBE it, say so next time. 1 paragraph and 2 paragraphs isn't much.

Now, back to what I was saying about the Paladin... level 30, for a casual RPer who has a large social life like me, can mean many months. MANY months. Especially considering the following: I can not be on all the time; The level up system is based upon posts; I may only have the time to post once/twice a day.

[±Witchcraft±]

One, I must say calm down. I am a magically aligned person so I do not remember the melee people as strongly as I should. And it doesn't matter if your person is normal, you can still describe him and his history more. The form gives what is the minimum required, and you were approved. I just state what might help improve him in a later date since characters evolve and change over time.

Paladin is level 30 because of the sheer power they can have. They are a master of melee arts and weapons from being a warrior and 'then' gain even more power by being able to heal themselves. This is easy to power play and is best to make sure the person has the ability under their belt before they try it.

[Señor Sunday Friday]

*understood the 'obscure Stargate reference'*

>.> <.<

aaanyways...

It's okay, Trev... we've had members with more issues with thier forms before they joined. You just have a few points that need some checking and you can move on to the Ghost Shipyards.